Questions: post ‘Goal Setting’ workshops (Oct 12)
Answers: by tutor Muriel McClymont
For further help with achieving your goals, join our ‘goal setting’ forum
Q1. I’m juggling several things currently and I’m finding it hard to complete anything? What should I do?
A1: Take a step back and consider what you are juggling. It’s not uncommon for us to put our heads down and ‘get busy’ but sometimes ‘busy’ can then become an end in itself and it’s not necessarily productive!
To see how you can make better use of your time and focus on completing what you started, record how you are spending your time and keep a time sheet for a couple of weeks, jotting down every single thing you do. Set some categories, for example, work I love, work that keeps me solvent, relaxation, friends and family. Then allocate all your time in the most appropriate category. (The more relevant and specific you make these categories for you, the more effective this exercise will be).
This exercise will show you exactly where you are spending your time and effort and it’s certainly enlightening. Once you have this information, you can prioritise and make changes.
Remember the pareto principle, where 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes, so changing 20% of what you are doing can make a huge difference!
Q2. I’ve had the same goal for two years. I just can’t seem to get around to it? Can you help?
A2: How important is this goal to you? Tackling a huge goal from a standstill can be completely overwhelming. So the answer in this case may be to chunk down, and find a smaller piece to work on.
Sometimes the goal can be really important, but something stops you taking action. Perhaps it’s a confidence issue, perhaps you don’t feel you deserve to have that success, or think that’s it’s impossible for you deep down. If this is the case, it might be useful to talk to someone you trust to help you pinpoint what the barrier is.
Alternatively, the goal may just no longer be something you want. Perhaps it was never your goal in the first place but you adopted it because it made a key person in your life happy. If this is the case, be honest with yourself, and drop it. If you really don’t want a goal, you can waste years subtly sabotaging yourself to avoid getting there when all that energy could be focused on something you really do want.
Q3. I’m good at starting something but I find it hard to keep motivated. What do you suggest?
A3. Working out ways to stay motivated is vital, so try:
- breaking your goal down into manageable steps, and make a weekly or monthly action plan
- keep track of your progress, recognize and acknowledge how much you are achieving towards your goals
- plan rewards and celebrations for completing your actions
- tell people what you are doing so they can encourage you and hold you accountable
- create a big picture board with exciting images of what you are working towards, displayed in a prominent position as a reminder.
This way your goal starts to feel like a journey you are taking, which is enjoyable in itself, achieving the goal will then be the icing on the cake.
Q4. I’m trying really hard but I can never seem to achieve the particular objective I’m working on?
A4. If what you are doing isn’t working, perhaps it’s time to try something else? Firstly, you need to be clear about the goal that you are trying to achieve, is it still important to you?
Perhaps you could consider an alternative route to your goal or explore options to take a sideways step to gather some additional training or experience to get you back on track.
The problem doesn’t seem to be lack of effort so make sure that you are directing your energies in the right direction.
Q5. I often scupper myself before I’ve started by thinking of all the negatives that might happen. How can I stop doing this?
A5. You have a great imagination and you use it with skill, so all you need to do is shift the focus. Instead of imagining all the ways your plans can go wrong, take time to imagine all the ways your plans can go well!
Two or three times a day, stop what you are doing and imagine everything going brilliantly. Really step into it, see what you see, feel what you’d feel, hear what you’d hear. Keep going till you are lovin’ it. If you catch yourself making up potential disasters again, stop and run fun versions through your brain. As Mark Twain said: “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Q6. What happens if nothing works out the way I expect?
A6. It’s a real shame when we make great plans then real life gets in the way and we have to go back to the drawing board. So it’s always good to build in some flexibility if possible. When things appear to go awry, often the new situation throws up new, previously unimagined possibilities to pursue.
I remember one of the para Olympians, when interviewed this summer, saying that she only became an athlete after she lost her legs in the 7/7 bomb attacks in London!
People often say, after a bit of time, that being made redundant, which seemed like a disaster at the time, turned out to be the best thing that happened to them.
I think the secret in this is to be confident that new opportunities will always turn up, so keep looking. It’s amazing how often new possibilities are staring us in the face but we don’t see them until our other choices are taken away.
Q7. I’ve set my goals, and identified my actions, but I still don’t seem to get round to doing any of it. Any suggestions?
A7. Setting goals is not an intellectual exercise. If you don’t ‘feel’ it, it’s unlikely that you’re going to do it.
Ask yourself: “What is achieving this goal going to get me?” Then, whatever the answer to that question is, ask yourself: “What is achieving that going to get me?” Then ask the same question to the answer to that and keep going until you get an answer you can’t go beyond. This last answer will be the core value (or point) of the goal you are working towards.
Now you’ve worked out why you are pursuing this goal, think again about your initial question. You will either feel more motivated to set appropriate actions and really do them or you will realise that this goal is not the right one to take you where you need to go. Then you can start to work out what the right goal for you would be.
Q8. Every time I get myself geared up to start work on my action plan, I see everyone else around me doing so much better and it completely demotivates me.
A8. There is nothing to be gained by comparing yourself with anyone else. No-one else on the planet has your exact set of circumstances and attributes. No-one else is you! So any comparisons are meaningless. The only valid comparison you can make is with yourself.
- Where were you this time last year?
- What have you learnt in the last year/six months/month?
- What progress have you made in the last year/six months/month?
Questions like this will help you to measure how you are doing.
Even if you feel you were doing more relevant work six months ago, you have not lost that experience or the benefits it brought to you. It’s all there permanently as part of the unique package that is you. So wish all those other high achievers well, and start to recognise how well you are actually doing too.